Drowning

Have you ever been 'down' in life?

The 'down' is.....

when u disappoint some one who care you and you care the most.

when you apologized hundred times over the same shit but still you can't change.

when you know you should not say things to hurt him but you still doing it time after time.

when you had pray milion of times to God so that he can give you a hand to pull out from the situation but God seem cannot hear you.

when you had no one and no way to turn to and even you cant help yourself, you cant control yourself.

when even you had cried thousand gallon of tears but it still cant drown you and you still have to face all the weakness infront of you.

when you are shouting so loud but still not loud enough for yourself to wake up from the nightmares.

Have you ever?

Yea...I am down tonite~

Ming Ming in the town!!~

Little brother ming ming is in the town!!

First day of his arrival, is quite shocked by his thin down body and the super duper cabbage head..haha....he need a hair cut!

Ming's first dinner at Sunway @ Zen

Salmon Sashimi & soft shell crab temaki

Good food can't stop...more good food coming up....(FULL..SATISFIED)

我们的关于

关了刺眼的日光灯，开了空调，躺在床上等着入睡却躺了好久都睡不着。不知怎么的，每当这个时候都是思绪特别活跃的时候。想东想西的，从考试想到烹饪，从烹饪想到旅行，从旅行又有感而发的想到鱼与熊掌的人生抉择（又是一些无聊的歪理）。东南西北都想完了却还是一样睡不着，怎么搞的嘛，天亮还有考试的耶！！想着想着突然好想写些关于我们的事。

于是跃起身子，打开电脑对着屏幕“哒哒哒哒”的用力敲打着键盘，开始回想我们的点点滴滴.......

还记得第一次见你的时候，也不是我们相识的时候，光头并带着一副爱说人八卦的你，是我在校车讨厌的人，因为你总是表现着小声说大声笑的动作。或许是因为我们的出现总让你们必须搭巴士的原因吧。哈哈~

没搭校车后，就隔了两年，在第一天开学时见到你了，竟然，和你同班了！心想实在是冤家路窄，而且倒霉到暴。哈哈~谁知道却和你当了很好的朋友。我当然很记得你和我说的第一句话。“你知道猪是怎样死的吗？”“是蠢到死！”。再次见面你依然改不了惹人厌的表情。可是拥有者表情的男子却成了陪我搭公车回家的大好人！实在是好奇妙~

认识久了，对你的了解也加深了。在我心目中，你幽默，搞笑，好人，爱作弊，爱抽烟，可是却是KHB电子高手。哈哈~ 回想起那时还常常要你帮我和喜欢的人制造机会，实在是为难你咯。于是，我们的这段友谊很快得便因为经常腻在一起而产生了情愫。因为这样，你和女友分手了。因为这样，我们越来越亲密。可是却没有因为这样而在一起。而念完高一，你却因为不及格而被逼转校了。再也没有人可以天天陪我搭巴士了，再也没有人像你一样对我了~

不知是不是缘份的关系，我们却依然被对方牵着。断断续续的联络，终于我有了自己的手机。好开心哦，可以和你天天联络了！当然，你有了自己的生活圈子，可是我想着没有影响你对我的好。你总是对我有求必应，不管是否值得，你都会去做。你真的让我好感动的！

藉着这一切打动我的所作所为，我们相恋了。偷情是我们的专长，偷偷摸摸是我们的约会（你还记得我们的偷情胜地吗？），收买朋友帮忙隐瞒是我们常做的事。就因为害怕我的爸妈会反对我谈恋爱。因为我的自私，因为我的懦弱，因为我的反反复复，因为我的想太多，我们分分合合。而你，却一而再再而三的包容了，忍着眼泪还必须故作开朗的过日子。可是，到最后，经不起考验的我却放弃了。

毕业了，各走各路了，偶尔我们还会联络，可是却越来越少了。当中也发生了许多事，直到有一天，因为期末考太压力的我，和你聊天了。你依旧像以前一样那样的关心我，你依旧像以前一样让我感动。对你的想念也越来越深了，可是，我还是没有勇气，也不敢保证不会再伤害你。

亲爱的，我想是上天一定要让我把握你，所以，他让你的错失转为希望。让我发现我是真的害怕失去你，我是真的不想后悔，我是真的那么的哈你！终于，我们在回一起了！！

甜蜜的恋情，即使只是远距离，即使只是短讯及通电话。但是这些的思念却被相见的日子而填补了。当然，考验却没有因为这样而结束。反而是接踵而来，可是也因为这样，我看见了你再次的包容，再次的不立不弃。谢谢你！~

还有一个月，就是我们的专属日子了。希望今后的每一年我们都能一起庆祝这特别的一天。希望争吵会越来越少。希望越来越恩爱，希望越来越学会体谅和包容，越来越学会沟通， 当然非常希望越来越常见面！！ 嘻嘻~

可是现在的我，却希望能快快睡着，好让明天能有足够的精神读书。Last Paper 了，祝我好运吧！！=）

泪人累人

已经是凌晨了，还没睡意，手边搁着的笔记我也无心再看了。和你道了晚安，也希望你能整夜都好眠。忽然，眼泪划过了脸颊，哭了，还是抽泣的哭着。

这已是我想call你的第四个晚上了，不懂怎么最近都特别的情绪化，差不多每晚都哭了。或许是想太多惹的祸，或许是想念惹的祸，我也搞不懂。

我知道的，但是，我无法控制。突然想起，我们是大家的羡慕对象，但是我闪过了这句话，“你看我好，我看你好。”或许，别人会说我该身在福中不知福，错了，我知道我很幸福。但是，我羡慕，甚至我嫉妒。我羡慕，那些吵架的情侣，能面对面地吵，而我们，只能隔着电话，我嫉妒，别的情侣在拥抱亲吻的时候，我却只能抱着当作你的抱枕，吻着抱枕。

我相信，远方的你何尝也不是这样。这些，我都知道。而我们能够怎么样？

不知道什么时候，我对你越来越依赖了，不懂是好事，还是坏事。然而，这份依赖，也变成了我对你发脾气的原因。一次又一次，对不起，原谅我。我真的不是故意的。告诉你一件事，为了等你电话，我选择不要别人的陪伴，因为害怕你会想和我聊，但是，不敢主动打给你，因为我不想累坏你。

我真的真的好想你，亲爱的，想想办法好吗？

Taman Negara Trip

sharon, yvonne, fiona...hope u all enjoy your Taman Negara Trip!!have fun ya...dun bring leech for me...hahaha....hope u all wont bite by leech tooo~~

Help

妞啊妞， 不懂为什么没次和你说完话都会觉得舒服。或许是可以感觉有个人懂我的感觉。最近不知怎么泪水很多哦，也很喜欢哭的感觉，因为它让我发泄，发泄出不知名的失落。也不知为何会时笑时哭，也习惯了不去告诉别人我的情况，或许是累了，或许不想看别人想帮却无能为力的样子，或许已经无要可救，或许不知如何说起，也或许想你所说的一个小脑袋如何装的下不同人的格种说法。
真的很累了，为什么我怎么努力去偿试各种方法，阅读很多书，听很多相关的事，试着用宗教来寻求出路，可是还是一样。
神啊！要是祢真的存在，请你打救我！也请祢让我在这困苦中看见神迹吧！！

不行，我不能在让自己这样，我要自救，我要和我的负面思想抗战，我要加油，我要活下去，我不要再自怨自艾，我相信我会好起来，我不会另他失望，加油！！

21st~唔该晒各位

happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happybirthday to me eee~~~

yeah...it's my 21st bday...an age that i got my key of freedom but i wish to gain wisdom as well...haha...

first of all...i wanted to say thankyou to my buddies, winnie, ruijing, crisabel, yoni, sharon, fiona, nipper, ken lo,Andy n quek...thank for ur bday present and i rili love it..hahaha...and another thing i wan to praise my fren which they had rili high creativity because they had make me a padlock bday card...

buddies celebrating my bday @ Zanmai~

thankyou sis for the bday cake..

My bday present...i love it!!

the legendary padlock bday card...好有心机啊！！

HoLidAySSsss~

Bla bla bla...Hmmm...what shud i write? still not rili get used to write a blog..haha...cz i dont write a diary everyday..haha..and take pic of everything i have done everyday..haha...but...i think will still get used to it one day...haha..

How was my holiday? i will say it is rili fantastic..haha...firstly..went to 1Borneo..emm...how was it...i shud say..not like wat i expected..but it is really a big step for KK in improving standard of living..thn had Manhattan Fish Market for lunch ( strongly recommend Garlic Butter Mussell*****...perfecto!!) . Ah beng recommend GSC cinema in 1Borneo..many parking and not so pack..haha...will watch Hancock thr soon...

Secondly, had lunch at Damai Upperstar...very nice environment, food is delicious and price is affordable too~~Recommend mushroom soup and chicken salad****.


Thirdly, a one day trip to hotspring..very relaxing and good for skin..haha...we booked a deluxe room which had private bathroom, private bath tub with jacuzzi and a living room (RM 20 per hr). Quite affordable since wont be disturb by others and can enjoy the hot water relaxingly..haha...some more can buy some fresh vege at kundasang after that. However, quite time consuming journey...haha...

Does my holiday sound so exciting in one week time??Of course!!!!! holiday is meant to be enjoy~~check out for more of my exciting holiday...haha...*Coming soon: Pulau and Macau, hong kong, China...woooohooo!!!~~~~~~~

P/S: sharon, yvonne, and frens in kk...if u are interested in goin pulau pls contact me or niu niu...venue not confirmed yet, either manukan or sapi..haha!! sharon..yvonne...pulau lo...

Back to my home~^.^

Finally finally finally....after few weeks of hardwork and insomnia in the exam period, adding the few hours waiting at airport, two and a half hours journey.....finally, i back to my home town, back to where am i belong the land below the wind--Sabah!! Yes..i am sabahan and thn proud to be. sabah is a heaven that surrounded by sea, trees are everywhere, recent improve of living standard, seafoods are cheap here, food are nice here, people are friendly here. although lots of illegal immigrants here, however, Sabah is still a heaven, please don't ask sabahan whether they are still living on trees, because u will make urself sound so stupid and like a katak di bawah tempurung. WE ARE NOT LIVING ON TREES AND IF SO OUR TREES WILL HAVE ELEVATOR K??

Haha..i really sound so angry, don't I?...kla...not really la...i am not a grumpy person (Iwish)..haha...it is rili nice to be at home...sharon..yvonne...faster come back to your home sweet home...haha...Jing yee....dad keep ask where u are...everyone keep asking too...so pls...dont ask me again...jing yee will be bck at 6th of July k??

After a twelve hours of sleeping, i had a new hair cut..really tak boleh tahan my old hairstyle la...so messy...but now my hair not messy anymore...haha..But dunno y cant upload my new pics..will show u all later..hehe~

Before After



(P/S: just uploaded my new hairstyle...and...maybe not rili used to tis new blog...so...some of those layout mayb very poor..haha...sorry...i will improve myself!!)

bla bla bla...

hey~也有好一段日子我没blog了。嗯，该PO些什么呢？哈哈...本来应该为考试而作战的我却悠哉游哉的写blog，不是因为已经温习好，而是懒啦～又没有原动力，怎么读啊？？

忽然想起了一句话，是一部描述青少年的电影里面的对白，他说：“青春就好似方糖，是易碎的，是棱角的。” 你认同吗？

大人们常常抱怨我们处事不够圆滑，直肠直肚，不懂的转弯。可是我却认为这是一份坚持和对自己想要的东西的执著。虽然青少年的我们爱钻牛角尖，但我们却有着大人们没有的天真和率直，或许也因为这份天真，这份率直让我们在追求自己的理想时受了很多伤，很易碎。

我相信， 经岁月和经验的磨炼，有一天我们也会从易碎的方糖变成坚硬的冰糖，也长智慧。执着也会随着岁月慢慢的冲淡，待人处事也会变的圆滑。有的人会认为是戴着面具做人，可是有的人却会认为是成熟。哈哈！可是现在的我却不想去管，我只要大步走路，大口呼吸，趁我还没必要变的成熟前任性一下下。

最后，给正在考试的朋友，我刚刚有了些原动力，来自于他的这句话：“just face it!!face it berhabis!! dont give up..try your best!!~" 加油！！～